strange conversations

i had a conversation with a woman in academia yesterday morning. she said to me a lot of things that a middle aged woman should not say to a 21-year-old, like “when i was your age, they never told me that being a woman in academia would be a problem. as a recently divorced woman with a baby girl, i’ve realized that all i want to do is raise my kid”. “i’m sorry” comes in as an apropos remark in such situations. well, for a lot of reasons. i was sorry her child had made her change her mind like that, but that’s just me being misogynistic. sometimes i forget that i am an Asian girl.

i was also sorry because i only wanted to know about her research but then it led to a litany of the poor decisions she’d made in her life. as optimistic as i am about my long term grand plans, i knew a long time ago that academia is definitely not the place to be for a person like me. not as a woman, but as a person. it remains clear that i cannot be under any sort of employment in the future because i hate being told what to do. as a fresh-faced graduate, i would undoubtedly need to be employed first before even thinking about starting my own thing. for now, think gap year plans then think grad school apps and of other menial ways to make money.

the weather today in SoCal is retarded. did anyone see the hail at 9AM?

1 comment
  1. Hm… strange conversations indeed. o_O; I think she probably just wanted someone to listen.

    I was up at 9am but I didn’t see hail.. just lots of rain which happily stopped long enough for SO and I to drive to school.

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