today, and tomorrow

if there’s one thing a blocked nose gives you, it’s the lucidity of the space between waking and sleeping brought on by the lack of oxygen. might i want to look into that as part of my research? i spoke about this at length a few weeks ago. i would conduct the grandest experiments on human subjects. but i dismissed them all for there is no mathematical basis for philosophical research.

i have larger, more pressing questions: does my bottom look too big in these very tight jeans? i thought yoga was meant to make it smaller, not larger. damn you, deep lunges, damn you. maybe i ought to do deep lunges in my very tight jeans to stretch them out. the button popped on it the other day the first time i tried them on, precisely how you envision it: me walking around the house breaking the trousers in, and then having the button go “pop” onomatopoeically. i have been told i am a real life cartoon. i don’t know where i end and where my projection begins.

i thought of writing about my future as i was washing my hair, but i decided against it; for it does not pay to speculate. carpe diem, que sera sera, and all those idioms that come from other languages.

i took the afternoon off. rachel ray is presently on tv, talking about making a turkey bacon sandwich. to that, i can only say that turkey bacon is a blasphemous sin, and that her vivaciousness offends me on occasions like these. meanwhile, have you seen the food blog i rarely post in?


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